We've got some very disappointing news for you today. Richard Lynn of the University of Ulster in Northern Ireland just released the results of one of the largest global studies we've ever seen on PENIS SIZE. And American men FLOPPED.
--He released results for 116 countries and we came in . . . 97th. That's a HUMILIATING showing. The average American man is packing 5.08 inches, which puts us just ahead of Ireland at 5.03
--But at least we're not NORTH KOREA. They came in SMALLEST of the 117 countries at an average engorged size of 3.8 inches. South Korea tied with them, but we actually like South Korea, so we'll assume it was cold when they measured.
--The rest of the 10 smallest countries in the pants are Cambodia, Thailand, India, Taiwan, the Philippines, Sri Lanka, China, and Japan.
--The Congo came in first with an average size of 7.06 inches. Ecuador was second at 7 inches. The Democratic Republic of the Congo . . . which is different, and a worse place, than the Congo . . . came in third, at 6.82 inches.
--The rest of the top 10 largest countries in the pants are Ghana, Colombia, Venezuela, Lebanon, Cameroon, Iceland, and the Sudan.
--By the way, don't feel TOO bad that the racist part of your brain just went "so African countries have big penises and Asian countries have small penises." Yes, you're racist, but this entire study was conducted because of those stereotypes.
--Lynn says he ran the study to see if those stereotypes are true . . . and he believes he proved they ARE. The average African country measured at 6.33 inches, the average Asian country was 4.2 inches.
(Daily Mail / Yahoo)
